Back to my Roots Read online

  by

  Tessa Elaine

  Copyright © 2017 Tessa Elaine

  All rights reserved.

  Cover Design By: Dee Ellis for Indies Ink

  Interior Design By” Dee Ellis for Indies Ink

  Published By: Tessa Elaine

  ISBN-10: 1976087092

  ISBN-13: 978-1976081095

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Epilogue

  About The Author

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Sarah Wayne, my best friend, wants to throw a party down by the lake but I'm just not sure I really want that. Partying has never really been my thing. I have always focused more on school, so eventually one day my dad will let me take over the ranch. I love it here in Eureka Montana, it's a beautiful small town with just a little over 1,000 people. I’ve lived here all my life. You live and breathe the land here in Big Sky Country. It’s where the elk and pronghorn outnumber the people two to one, it’s where nature holds the winning hand.

  Eureka is a treasure with trout-filled rivers flowing through rugged landscape of mountains and valleys. Snow-capped mountains, hot springs, mud spots, the most inspiring two million acres on earth. It’s paradise. Sunsets that fade from blue to yellow and orange when it touches the earth. Breathtaking.

  My best friend is my neighbor, it couldn't get any better than that. Okay, maybe it could if Sarah's hot older brother Lucas ever noticed I existed, but who can blame him he’s the ultimate golden boy. The whole town knows Lucas Wayne. He was the all-star Qb in high school and was destined to take over his dad’s company.

  “Elena finish your chores, then come inside and wash up for dinner,” my mother calls from the house, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Okay mama,” I call back. My mother and father are the most amazing people in the world. Lillian and Joseph Brighton met in college and have been in love ever since. They started the horse ranch as soon as they moved to Eureka and a few years later they had me.

  The ranch is pretty big with about 2,000 acres so my chores take me a bit to get done. The last thing I have to do is feed the horses and make sure they have hay and water then close the barn up. Today as I'm finishing up I hear a loud noise and go to check it out, when none other than Lucas Wayne jumps out of an empty stall.

  “Hey Laney!” He uses the nickname he’s been using ever since I can remember.

  “Are you trying to kill me?!” I yell out in fear.

  “Now why would I want to do that?” Lucas says with that crooked smile of his that makes me melt.

  God, he looks good tonight, but when doesn't he? He's wearing a dark t-shirt and light jeans with his cowboy boots. He's about 6-foot-tall, with wide shoulders that taper off to a narrow waist that gives him the perfect “v” shape. Blond hair and beautiful green eyes that I find hard to pry away from.

  “I don't know, maybe because you’re a pain in my butt,” I shoot back. He's really not, but I can't let him know that. I wonder what he's doing here?

  “Come on Laney, I'm not that much of a pain, am I?” He gives me another one of those smiles, the one where he only lifts one side of his mouth, making my heart speed up.

  “What are you doing here Lucas? Are you dropping Sarah off? I didn't know she was coming over.” I look around him to see if his sister is here.

  “No, I didn't come over to drop Sarah off, I came to see you.”

  “Why are you here to see me?” I ask, not sure what’s going on and wondering if it's some kind of joke. He starts to walk closer and I take a step back so he stops.

  “What do you want Lucas?” I ask flatly.

  “I want to take you out for your birthday.” He smiles.

  “Is this about the party Sarah wants to throw by the Lake? I already told her it's not something I want to do.” I really don't want to party with a bunch of people from school that don't really like me.

  “No” he continued, “I want it to be just me and you.”

  My jaw drops open. Did I just imagine that or did Lucas Wayne just ask me out for my birthday with “just the two of us”? I open my mouth to say something then close it again when nothing comes out. Get yourself together Elena.

  “Are you joking right now Lucas?” I hope he's not.

  “Why would I joke about taking you out?” He looks a little hurt, but that could just be my imagination.

  “I don't know, maybe because that's all you and Wyatt do is play pranks and make jokes.” I stand my ground, he's not making a fool out of me. I've known Lucas my whole life, I know he doesn't think of me like that. Or does he? I'm just his little sister's friend that's always hanging around.

  “Look, this is hard for me because you're Sarah's friend, her best friend. But I had to take a chance whether it pissed her off or not. I like you Laney and I know you like me too.”

  My heart is about to beat out of my chest.

  “I want to take you out on a date, and I thought, what a better night than your birthday.” I've never seen Lucas blush before. He is always this smooth-talking boy that can charm any girl right into the back seat of his truck.

  “Like a real date?” I ask probably looking like an idiot with my mouth hanging open.

  He runs his hand through his hair while he's looking down at his boots. This is a whole new Lucas, I have never seen him this nervous. “Yes, a real date. What do you say?”

  WHAT?!?!

  “I don't know what to say.” I'm still in shock.

  “Say yes.” He looks so hopeful, he knows I have had a crush on him for most of my life.

  “OK.”

  “Yeah?” He looks up from his boots.

  “Yeah.” I smile up at him.

  “I'll pick you up at seven, is that good?” He asks with a big smile that reaches his eyes.

  “Sounds great.” I'm blushing from the top of my head to the tip of my toes now. We stand there staring at each other for a little while before he says goodbye. I rush inside to clean up for dinner more excited than ever about my birthday.

  The night of my 18th birthday, I get the call that changed my life forever. All I remember hearing were the words “parent's” and “fatal car crash”, and suddenly the world stopped spinning. My mind was racing and I couldn’t process what was happening. I felt like the earth opened up under me and I was just falling with no way to stop. I had no idea what way was up or down.

  How can I go on after losing the two people that meant the most to me? Life can’t be this cruel, can it? To take my parents away from me on the night of my birthday. I had lost everything. I went numb, I dropped the phone and I didn't speak to anyone. I couldn’t.

  I only left my room for the funeral. Sarah and Lucas came by to check on me, but I told my Aunt Grace to tell everyone I didn't want to see them. My Aunt Grace is my mother's older sister who lives in the city. She stayed with me for a few weeks to help sort things out.

  There was a knock at my bedroom door.

  “Elena, you need to eat something sweetheart,” Aunt Grace said with concern.

  I don't answer, talking is too hard. There's another knock at my door
.

  “Can I come in?” I still don't answer.

  She opens the door slowly to find me curled up on my bed under the covers.

  “Sweetheart, please eat something.”

  I can't eat, every time I think of food I just get sick. It hurts too much to breath let alone eat. She pulls the blanket away from my head and gives me a sad empathetic smile.

  “Your friend has been here every day since the funeral to check on you. Don't you want to see her?”

  I shake my head. I don't want to see anyone. All they say is how sorry they are. Well, sorry doesn't bring my parents back.

  “What about that handsome boy? Lucas? He comes by twice a day begging me to let him see you.”

  A tear rolls down my face, why me? I don't understand any of this.

  My 18th birthday was supposed to be the best day of my life. I spent the day with my parents and then went on my date with Lucas, and it was perfect, until the phone call. I will never forget it.

  “Elena, this is Sheriff Drew. I'm really sorry dear, but your parents have been in a really bad car accident.” I stopped breathing and dropped the phone.

  Lucas picked the phone up and started talking to the Sheriff. On the way to the hospital I just stared out the window of Lucas's truck unable to move or speak.

  My mother died instantly and my father died a few hours after he arrived at the hospital. Lucas just held me while I was screaming and crying. He was so sweet that night, but I can't even look at him right now or anyone else.

  “Look dear, I understand you're hurting, I miss them too,” Aunt Grace says.

  “I know you don't want to deal with anything right now, but your Uncle James and I have to get back to the city this week.” I sit up real fast.

  “You can't leave me, I have no one!” I shout.

  “We are not leaving you dear, we are here for whatever you need,” She says while she rubs my knee to try and comfort me.

  “But I can't stay here, there is nothing left here for me anymore!” I start crying again.

  “The ranch is yours Elena. You have always wanted to run this place. Are you just going to leave and give up everything and everyone you have ever known?” She looks at me with tears in her eyes. She knows how hard this is for me. We both lost someone that means the world to us.

  “This is not the way I wanted to take over the ranch!” I'm yelling and I feel terrible, but I can't help it. I'm so mad.

  “I know sweet girl, I know.” She holds me while I cry until I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open.

  That next night I pack all my stuff. I can't stay in this house or in this town. Everything reminds me of what I've lost, especially the people. They look at me different now and they all ask the same questions. “Are you okay? How are you doing?” NO. I AM NOT OKAY. I just lost everything how could I be okay!

  The next few days go by in a haze. Uncle James has taken care of selling all the livestock and getting things in order, he and Aunt Grace have been such a big help. Then I'm gone, no goodbye, nothing. I can't stand to explain to any of them why I'm leaving or listen to them try to talk me into staying. It's too much.

  I'm going to miss Sarah and god I'm going to miss Lucas. I love him, but that's why it's best I leave. He doesn't need someone who is broken, and that's what I am, broken.

  Chapter 1

  Elena

  “No, No, No!” I can't do this, it can't be real. “Mom, dad please wake up. Don't leave me, come back.” I can't feel anything, I'm crying and numb. I'm holding my breath and I might pass out. My scream gets lodged in my throat.

  I jerk up right from my bed covered in sweat and shaking, another nightmare. This time I was at the scene of the accident watching it all, screaming for help. Asking my mom and dad not to go, but they couldn't hear me. My birthday is still a month away. Every year around this time I close into myself and avoid everyone. It has been seven years since the death of my parents and it still seems like only yesterday.

  I get up to make a glass of water and notice it's three in the morning. I have to be up early for work in just a few hours. I finally have my Bachelor of science in nursing (BSN) and I have a great job. I turn around to go back to bed when the front door opens, my roommate Aubrey walks in.

  “Hey girl what are you doing up so late?” She greets me with a smile.

  Aubrey has been my friend for the last five years. We met in one of our classes and we became friends almost instantly. We were both studying to get our BSN so that helped too. Lucky for me, Aubrey was looking for a roommate. At the time, I was desperately ready to move out of my aunt’s house. I love my Aunt Grace but she reminds me so much of my mother.

  The grief of losing my parents was still so fresh it was hard to be in the same room as my aunt without falling apart. With the help of a therapist, I have learned to deal with some of the emotions.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” I shoot back at her.

  “Well if you must know, I was out with Dell.” Aubrey gives me a shy smile then goes to the fridge for a bottle of water.

  “The TA?” I ask a little shocked.

  “What? We are done with school and it was just one night, I don't plan on seeing him again.” She laughs as she walks off down the hall to the bathroom.

  “I'm taking a shower and going to bed,” She calls over her shoulder and then she's gone. I'm still standing there in the kitchen when I realize what she just said. Aubrey had a one-night stand with the teacher’s assistant.

  He’s hot, don't get me wrong, but I never understood how someone can have sex so casually. I make my way to the bathroom and knock on the door, I walk in before I hear her response. Aubrey is already in the shower when I enter the bathroom so I take a seat on the lid of the toilet. I'm quiet for a while just thinking of how I want to start this conversation, I know I can talk to Aubrey about anything. She senses my hesitation and starts first.

  “I know what you're going to say, and it's not what you think.”

  “What am I going to say, Aubrey?” She really has no idea what is going on in my head.

  “You know I worry about you, but that's not why I'm in here.”

  Aubrey pokes her head around the shower curtain.

  “What's up chica?”

  “The nightmares have started, that's why I was up when you got home.” I can't look at the pity on her face so I look at my hands twisting in my lap.

  “Oh sweetheart! I am so sorry, I had no idea. I wouldn't have rushed off so quickly.”

  She turns the water off and takes the towel I offer to her, immediately when she steps out she wraps me in her arms.

  “They came early this year.”

  Aubrey has seen me at my worst moments. She knows every year around my birthday I start to get these awful nightmares. She's right though, my birthday is still a month away.

  “I know and they are getting worse.” I keep hoping that they won't come back, but year after year I have to relive the worst point of my life. To make things harder they came early this year. Aubrey and I walk back to the living room after she grabs her robe. She grabs two beers out of the fridge and joins me on the couch.

  “Thanks,” I say as I curl up in the corner.

  'Want to talk about it?” She knows I don't but she's always there for me.

  “Not really, why don't you tell me about your night with the TA?” She gives me that look... that look that say's it was just another night.

  “What's there to tell, we went out for drinks, went back to his place. It lasted thirty minutes and then I was out the door.” I take a long sip of my beer while I listen to her recap.

  “That bad huh?” I give her a side look and Aubrey just rolls her eyes.

  “Not bad, just uninspiring,” Aubrey says with a laugh

  “Uninspiring?” I don't understand, but that would have to do with the fact that I have only been with two guys sexually.

  “Yeah mundane, unoriginal, passionless, run-of-the-mill. Care for me to go on?”

&nb
sp; “No, I get it, you're bored.” Aubrey just shakes her head and gets up to get another beer.

  “You know maybe your flings are passionless because you’re looking for something more.” Aubrey stops halfway back to the living room and gives a look that says you're joking right.

  “Why would I be looking for something more?” She asks me.

  “As long as I have known you I have never seen you in a relationship.”

  I love Aubrey, she's like a sister to me but the girl has trust issues. She doesn't keep a man around for more than a week. She won't let them get close enough to get hurt she says.

  “I have too had relationships.” She looks like that hit a nerve.

  “I didn't mean anything by it, I just mean maybe it's time to let someone in?” Now she's looking at me like I grew a second head.

  “What about Matt from the bar? We went out for a while.”

  “Calling him twice a month for a booty call is not a relationship.” I can't help but laugh at how serious Aubrey is.

  “Says who?”

  “Just because you call him back and see him more than twice, or have sex for more than just one night. That does not make a relationship.” Aubrey and I start laughing so hard that we are doubled over holding our stomach.

  “By your standards no, but by mine that's a bonafide relationship.”

  “My standards are logical.”

  “This coming from the girl who made her boyfriend wait six months before she put out.” My jaw drops.

  “Hey, I wasn't sure if it would last. I didn't want to waste my time.”

  “Getting laid is never a waste of time, Elena. If he is doing it right. Is Dorian doing it right?” I can't stop the blush that is crawling up my neck.

  Dorian Graham and I have been dating for a year. I wasn't sure when we first got together how long it would last. We come from different worlds, his family is wealthy and I always feel out of place around them. When it's just the two of us I'm okay. He feels safe, and I keep asking myself is it because he can't break my heart? I don't want to think about that, he has become a part of my everyday life that it feels like a routine.